When Results Day Doesn't Go To Plan

Carys writes about how her A-level results day didn't go as she wanted it to, and gives advice for anyone else finding themselves in a similar position.

-Carys

Hi everyone!

My A-level results day 3 years ago was a terrible day. Well, it was for 18-year-old me back then. In school I based all my self-worth on my exam results, I worked so hard I made myself really unwell, and I still didn't get the grades I wanted (to begin with). 3 years on, here I am writing about my story of results day 2015, and the events leading up to it. 

I got my Durham offer (AAA) in February 2015, and a place at St. Mary's College. I worked super hard: I took Chemistry, French and Spanish A-level. I was struggling with Spanish, and I was right on the grade boundary of A/B. Results day came around, and I got a B. I didn't get into Durham University.

In the end I did get my place at Durham University, but I really had to fight for it. Here is the story:

My school made it that you had to go into school to collect your results by hand at 9am. UCAS changes at 8am. My UCAS didn't change. I was getting messages from my friends saying they got into their first choice unis, going on social media and seeing others posting their UCAS screenshots and there I was, 8 o'clock in the morning and getting myself into a right tizzy because I "failed". But Durham hadn't rejected me yet.

First, phone your academic department, don't email! I got to school and there it was: B in Spanish. I was so devastated. I had to go and sit in our careers department crying my eyes out along with the other people who found themselves unlucky that day. I was in a lot of distress as we sat in the office and rang Durham continuously and they said all I could do was wait. They hadn't rejected me yet because I had only just missed my offer, so I was still being considered. But my B was in a language A-level and I applied to study languages. My A in French suddenly seemed worthless to them. I didn't even want to study Spanish at university.

Second, get that re-mark! The saviour was my Spanish teacher. She suggested a re-mark. I've had re-marks in the past, and for me they'd never been beneficial. They never change by much, and I was 3 marks off that A grade boundary. It cost a lot of money. I told Durham I was waiting for a re-mark and to hold my place open until the result. They rejected me before I got my new results, but when I got them I saw that I had gone up 11 marks. I had got that A so easily, I'd gone past the boundary by a good 8 marks. I rang Durham with the news, but they still wouldn't accept me. They had filled all the places.

Third, always speak up if you believe you're being treated unfairly! This is where the arguments began. My Durham offer was AAA and I had got AAA but I was still rejected. That isn't how the deal works. It was no fault of mine that my results weren't as they should have been on results day. I couldn't go to the university I wanted, not because I didn't work hard enough, but because some stranger marked my exam incorrectly. I got people involved. Having good relationships with teachers was so useful in getting me my place at university. My ex-headteacher and my head of sixth form rallied round to get me the place I deserved. Magically a place appeared for me at Durham University, but at University College instead. College is just where you live and socialise: it didn't affect the academic side of my degree. 

Since results day 2015 I have learned a lot more about my self-worth and academic success. Here are some tips:

• They really do not matter! I know people used to say this all the time to me and I was like "yeah what a load of rubbish" but I can promise you it is true! Your results will not matter in 5 years’ time. 

• There is always a way! A-levels are not the only way to get into university, and they also will not limit you to achieving your goals for the future. I've found employers prefer my experience to my A-level results. As long as you have the passion and motivation, you will achieve what you want. 

• You can always leave! Remember that university isn't for everyone, and if you want to leave or take a year out, the only thing stopping you is anxiety. 

• You won't know what you're missing! Most universities all have the same societies anyway which is how you'll meet friends. You will make friends at any university you attend.

• Remember it's all just an advert! Every prospectus, web-page and open day you attended before choosing your university is just an advert, and you fell for it! Good advertising doesn't always mean that the academic quality is excellent, just the marketing team. 

• Life is too short! Seriously, there is more to life than studying, so get out there and live doing what you love because you never know when your time's up! Get living and fall in love with life again!

I'm Carys, a 4th year student at Durham University. I am passionate about student mental health and using my story and experience to help others. I am one of the editors for the student minds blog, I am actively involved with Durham's branch of Student Minds, Time to Change and run my own blog too. Please get in touch if you have any questions! 

How Being Mindful of My Judgements of Others Helped Me Manage Anxiety

Ethan explores how mindfulness, while not always the quick and easy solution to mental health struggles it is often claimed to be, helped him with his depression and anxiety.

- Ethan

I’m sure we’ve all heard of the word ‘mindfulness’ by now, a very popular buzzword that is often presented as a quick solution to many common mental health struggles. But, because of how often mindfulness is portrayed as a seemingly effortless solution, it can be frustrating when our issues are not immediately solved upon a first attempt to be mindful. As a result, to many, it can seem like a futile exercise. 

Before starting University, intrigued by this illusive practice that promised to make me happier, I picked up one of many books on mindfulness: G. Hasson’s ‘Mindfulness: Be mindful. Live in the moment.’As I was reading through it, it all seemed to make sense; take time to breathe, don’t let your thoughts run wild, and keep calm when facing new situations. Even though this all sounded very idealistic and unachievable, I began to dedicate periods of time to mindfulness – like a form of meditation but while doing other things – into my life. 

However, after coming to university and facing struggles with depression and constant self-deprecating thoughts, living a mindful life couldn’t have seemed more unrealistic. I became very fixated on my appearance, as it was something I could use to control how people viewed me and to hide how I really felt. Before leaving my room, I would first shower, then meticulously iron my clothes and lather my hair with gel, not allowing one hair to be out of place. 

This constant self-criticism and surveillance of my appearance didn’t end when I got ready for the day. Leaving my room only ramped-up my anxiety. Not feeling great about your appearance doesn’t pair well with having low confidence with what’s on the inside too. I also found that if I caught myself judging other people on the way they looked, talked, or presented themselves, I would evoke a feeling of guilt in myself. I felt horrible about how quickly my mind leapt to judgments of others; it was unfair of me to label them, or think less of them, and doing so, in turn, made me think less of myself. 

It was at this time that I began trying again to incorporate more bursts of mindfulness into my life, but nothing too significant or frustrating to overwhelm myself. I began simply being mindful of my judgments of others before I even began to try to be mindful of my own thoughts or life. Of course, it is difficult at first to control the judgments that pop into our heads. At first, I tried my best to pass positive judgments on others. Perhaps I would identify a nice piece of clothing, or the happy mood they appeared to be in, without being too envious of either. I then began to try to imagine and empathise with the identity struggles that they may also be facing. I found it beneficial to just look at each person as a human trying to get by, rather than the veil that they presented themselves behind. 

After practicing this more, and guilting myself less for judging others, I had found a beneficial way to practice mindfulness. I felt like I had imposed some sense of control over my thoughts, rather than letting them run riot as it is so easy for us to do. I could then put this into practice with my own appearance, negative thoughts, and stressful situations, helping me to manage my anxious thoughts a bit more each day. 

Hey, I'm Ethan! Having not found the past few years a breeze, as few people do, and struggling along the journey to know myself and where I'd like for my life to take me, I thought I'd share my experiences and the lessons I've learnt from for others going through similar struggles, in hope that you also get a better idea of how you want to experience life. I'm currently studying Philosophy and Politics at UEA.

How To Make The Most Of Fresher's Week (And Beyond)

Rhianna looks back on her First Year experience and shares her 3 top tips for making the most of it.

- Rhianna Levi

University is such an exciting and life-changing experiencing. You’re not simply studying a degree; you’re also gaining new skills, opening yourself to new opportunities and meeting new people. It’s inevitable you’re going to develop immensely as an individual.

This time last year, I was starting that experience myself. So, I thought it would be beneficial to share my top tips in regard to starting University and making the most of that transition!

1. Take advantage of meeting new people. 

Whether it be on your course, in your halls or through university events, you’ll find many opportunities to meet new people as socialising is a big part of university life. Even though it can be terrifying at first, remember that you’re not alone in feeling nervous. You’re all in the same boat, hoping to make friends quickly.

Connecting with others from different backgrounds makes first year and beyond really enjoyable and eye-opening. What you will find is that the friends you make at University have a tendency to become friends for life!

2. Find and utilise the support available. 

In Fresher’s week, become aware of the support your university offers and try and remember this for the entirety of your University career. Your supervisors, your lecturers, the University mental health services and The Student Union are all there to help you settle and succeed, both socially, emotionally and academically. They do not bite; they are really lovely and approachable and will go out of their way to support you in your endeavours and wellbeing! 

3. Keep organised

Obviously, the first few weeks are very chaotic. They’re full of adrenaline and the apprehensive attempts of ‘Adulting’! However, when things start to settle, remember your passion for your course and your academic aspirations and responsibilities.

It’s important to keep up to date with the reading and tasks that your course gives. This will prevent you feeling overwhelmed and becoming too stressed. Use good time management and essay planning in your assignments, exams and projects. Also, act upon the feedback you are given. Remember, your tutors are NOT belittling you, but are helping you get the best degree classification that you can at the end of your degree! Finally, try and aim for regular contact with your personal academic tutor throughout the three years. They’ll help you to check your progress and are often a first point of call for if you begin to struggle.

Overall, uni will be a unique and exciting experience. Hopefully, these tips will make your transition a smooth one and will set you up for a great first year!

I am a 19-year-old BA Hons English Literature student from The University of Worcester with a love for literature, cats, coffee, and travelling. I am an active mental health advocate and blogger, and not only write for Student Minds, but also run my own blog, and I am largely involved in various campaigns and social media platforms. Hope you all like my writing!